The Pressure Every Mother Goes Through: How can you help?

'Feeling guilty as a mama is annoyingly universal. The way you choose to feel it and the effect you let it have on you, is up to you.' - Miranda Hodge

Being a mother is hard. Unlike other jobs, when the going gets tough you can't just give your notice. Once you're a mother, you're in it for life. From moms that work tirelessly to balance their careers with family life, to the loving mom who dedicates herself to nurturing her children, the pressures are immense.

Here's one of them- Motherhood is asserted to be the central life goal through which one achieves womanhood. They are expected to single handedly take the responsibility of their children and continue doing it throughout their lives, putting their children's needs before their own.

In today’s world, the role of a mother is more challenging than ever, facing a barrage of societal expectations, called the 'Mommy Martyr myth' that can feel overwhelming.

This blog post explores the different dimensions of societal pressures on mothers, offering insights and strategies to help moms manage these demands effectively.

Cultural expectations

The role of mothers has evolved significantly over the centuries, yet the remnants of historical expectations still linger in modern societal norms. Understanding these changes helps in appreciating the current challenges faced by mothers and the importance of mothers in shaping a nurturing environment.

Across the globe, cultural norms dictate unique expectations for mothers, often placing them in a no-win situation where they are judged regardless of their choices. These expectations can be particularly harsh for new moms, who are navigating their roles amidst a plethora of well-meaning advice and often contradictory cultural standards.

Pressure on working mothers

Moms that work encounter specific challenges, from workplace discrimination to the guilt of not spending 'enough' time with their children. They are expected to be the primary caregiver even while working full-time to do their 'mother duties'. The struggle to maintain professional and personal life balance continues to be a significant pressure point for many working mothers.

Society portrays a loving mom, when she's working, as neglecting her children or being less committed to her family. These negative stereotypes are hurtful and make it harder for working mothers to feel good about their choices.

Also, the economic implications of motherhood are considerable. The high cost of childcare and the need for a dual income in many families put enormous pressure on mothers to return to work, often before they are emotionally or physically ready.

Educational expectations from mothers

Mothers often bear the brunt of educational expectations, tasked with managing everything from homework to school meetings. She is informed to stay informed about school events, expected to be the teacher of her children even if she belongs to the moms who work or has limited knowledge of the subject matter herself.

This can be emotionally draining as it increases stress and takes away the limited free time that she has. This can negatively impact their mental and physical well-being. Additionally, it can lead to conflict and frustration between mothers and their children. Furthermore, it unintentionally minimizes the role fathers can play in supporting their children's learning.

Comparison and mom-shaming culture

The tendency to compare oneself to other mothers can be detrimental to mental health. Mom-shaming, whether overt or subtle, is a pervasive issue that can make mothers feel judged and isolated.

While social media can be a supportive community for sharing experiences and advice, it also serves as a platform for judgment and comparison. On social platforms, you often see idealized versions of motherhood, showcasing the highlights of parenting, not the struggles. It serves to be a place where judgments are often passed quickly and without context.

There are numerous mother stories about loving moms feeling inadequate and going through self doubt, feeling alone in their challenges. This constant exposure to the checklist of 'mother duties' exacerbates  the tendency to compare oneself to other mothers.

A result of societal expectations is the toxic byproduct of mom shaming. It involves devaluing mothers for their parental choices be it feeding practices, child discipline or work decisions. And the worst part is that this toxic behaviour which is subtly woven into harmless advice doesn't come from strangers. It can come from your family or friends too. It can make mothers feel isolated, anxious and inadequate.

This can be particularly daunting for new moms who are often bombarded with unsolicited advice, comparison and conflicting opinions of motherhood that seems impossible to achieve in real life.

The mindful mama

This Mother's Day, show Mom you care about her well-being.

Motherhood is a beautiful journey, but it can also be incredibly demanding. Between endless tasks, emotional needs, and the constant work-life balance struggle, it's easy for moms to put their own needs last.

This year, give Mom the gift of self-care and inner peace.

Level SuperMind offers a library of guided meditations in multiple languages, helping her find moments of calm amidst her busy schedule. Short activities and mini-pauses allow her to recharge, even with limited time. Daily affirmations can help combat self-doubt and remind her of the amazing mama she is. Plus, sleep stories and calming music can promote better sleep, leaving her feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day.

This Mother's Day, as a token of gratitude, gift Mom the chance to prioritize her well-being. It's a gift that shows you understand her struggles and empowers her to be the best version of herself for herself and her family.

Happy mother's day to all the mothers out there!

The myth of Supermom

The myth of the 'supermom' who can do it all is both unrealistic and harmful. It creates an irrational expectation on mothers to handle all the aspects of their life- work, home, children and personal life, effortlessly. It ignores the importance of shared responsibilities in parenting, caregiving and upbringing. This pressure of fulfilling 'mother duties' makes them guilty for asking for help

This pursuit of becoming a supermom sets a standard that is nearly impossible to meet. It often leads to stress, feelings of failure, burnout and emotional and physical exhaustion.

It's crucial to help moms understand that it's okay not to be perfect and that motherhood does not need to be a flawless endeavor. Managing day to day responsibilities is enough and they are doing their best in every possible way.

Parental burnout

Parental burnout is a significant and growing problem. It is an intense state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that comes from the chronic stress of parenting. This is how it looks like- detachment from one’s children, a loss of pleasure in parenting, and a sense of being overwhelmed by parental responsibilities. Irritability, fatigue, emotional detatchment- all steam from it.

For this, it's crucial to seek support from closed ones, prioritize self care and most importantly, set realistic parenting goals. Recognizing the signs and taking steps to manage stress effectively can support mothers to regain their balance and enjoy their parenting journey.

Media representation of mothers

Media often portrays an idealized image of motherhood, reinforcing stereotypes that are both unrealistic and harmful. These representations can undermine the self-esteem of mothers, making them feel inadequate if they fail to live up to these idealized images.

Films like 'Mother India', considered a classic, portrays the trope of the sacrificing mother to an extreme, creating an unrealistic image of strength and suffering.  Even the commercials for baby products or household items are based on just one gender. In this, the women are shown as cheerful and having everything under control instead of showing the hardships and emotional toll mothers need have to undergo.

This reinforces the image of the unconditional, all-knowing mother and neglects open communication.

The support system for mothers

'It is easier to let go of someone's opinion when you understand that people see you through a combination of past conditioning plus their current emotion.'- Yung Pueblo

A robust support system is crucial in alleviating the pressures faced by mothers.

Redefine motherhood: As prevalent in various stories about mothers, taking the sole responsibility of the children needs to be challenged. Mothers need to work with their partners to redefine the meaning of motherhood for shared responsibility of children. This will alleviate their burden focus on parenting which involves their respective strengths.

Challenge stereotypes: The societal expectations involve portraying mothers as sole caregivers and fathers as secondary figures. Challenging such stereotypes around motherhood is crucial so that fathers are encouraged to be fully involved parents.

Champion work-life balance: Employers and policy makers should work towards creating a supportive work environment like flexible work arrangements, parental leave policies, and affordable childcare options that benefit both mothers and fathers. This allows parents to share childcare duties more equally, creating a better work-life balance for everyone.

Prioritize self-care: Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it's essential. Our loving moms need to schedule time for activities they enjoy, even if it's just a few minutes of quiet reading or a relaxing bath. A well-rested and recharged mother can be more present and engaged with her family.

Moms handle multiple responsibilities and so, a lot of them struggle with getting enough restful sleep due to the demands of daily life. They have a busy mind and they keep thinking about their children, household chores, professional work and other responsibilities. With sleep stories, they can fall asleep faster and enjoy better quality sleep by providing a calming and comforting bedtime routine.

Try this refreshing story of Hirkani who showcases her incredible resilience and determination as a mother to return home to her infant child.

To listen to the complete sleep story, head over to the Level SuperMind app.

Final thoughts

The pressures on mothers are multifaceted and complex, but by understanding and addressing these challenges, society can better support mothers in their vital role. Encouraging a supportive and empathetic societal approach is crucial for empowering mothers to manage these pressures without feeling overwhelmed.